TRY MINDFULNESS FOR BETTER SEX
At the Tri Health Clinic, we stay up to date on the leading scientific findings in sex therapy to ensure that you are getting the best, leading-edge treatments. A whole body of research has grown over the past decade showing that mindfulness is a helpful tool to improve sex. Mindfulness is a tool that you can use in order to have the sex life you’ve always wanted. Scroll down to find some free mindfulness for sex therapy resources.
We now know that mindfulness helps women improve sexual desire (and in case of some women with no libido at all, mindfulness can help bring libido back!). We also know that mindfulness can be a powerful tool for women with genital pain.
There is less research looking at mindfulness as a tool for men’s sexual health, but the research that does exist is very promising. Mindfulness has been shown to improve sexual pleasure for men with erectile dysfunction. It has also been shown to improve couple’s sexual enjoyment after prostate cancer, which severely impacts erectile functioning for up to 90% of men who undergo treatment for this very common form of cancer.
If you would like to learn more about why we teach mindfulness in our sex therapy practice, download the free handout Why Mindfulness? Rationale and Research.
If you are getting treatment for sexual difficulties, your therapist might recommend that you start a mindfulness practice. There are many excellent resources out there to support a mindfulness practice, but there are also some resources that are… not so great. That is, they say they are mindfulness, but really they are not. If you would like specific recommendations for high quality mindfulness exercises, ask your therapist!
Below, we offer some free mindfulness exercises to help you live your best sex life. These exercises do not contain sexual content. They are taken specifically from treatment programs used for research purposes, so we know that they work.
BEFORE YOU START
Position yourself in a way that you can sit comfortably in an upright, tall position. Perhaps with with your back away from your chair, if possible. Bring length to your spine and keep a sense of softness in your posture. Rest your hands facing up or facing down on your things and lift each foot with care and gently place them back on the ground. Tuck your chin in slightly towards the chest and either close your eyes or look down towards the ground.
Remember to observe your experience with a sense of gentle curiosity. We do not need to change our experience in any way… we do not need to breathe slower or deeper; we do not need to become more relaxed or less stressed. We are simply observing whatever is present in our experience right now, without getting caught up in the details or stories that arise in response to noticing our experience.
Now you’re ready to begin…
THREE MINUTE BREATHING SPACE
This 3-minute exercise is a very helpful tool to start off a mindfulness practice. It is minimal commitment! Before you start, make sure that you are in a dignified but comfortable pose. Remember that this practice is about “falling awake”, not falling asleep, so if there is a fear of dozing off, try a different position (e.g., sitting without the back touching the chair, standing still against a wall).
BREATH, BODY, SOUNDS, AND THOUGHTS MINDFULNESS EXERCISE
At 20 minutes, this is a slightly more advanced mindfulness exercise. This exercise takes you on a journey from sensations of the breath (a common anchor in mindfulness – it is always there and always constant), through sensations of the physical body, to sound sensations, and finally to thoughts. By following these steps, we experience the full gambit of sensations following increasing intensity, and we are able to practice staying curious and aware of each aspect of our present moment experience without getting caught in the judgements or stories that can come along with them.
DR. JENN BOSSIO, C. Psych is a psychologist and sex therapist servicing anywhere in Ontario (virtually). She offers in-person appointments to Kingston and the surrounding areas including Bellville, Napanee, Brockville. She works with individuals and couples to help make their sex lives better over all. She uses mindfulness in her work to treat sexual health problems, and as a tool to improve overall mental wellness. Read more about her here.