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What We Can Help With

TRY TRI HEALTH FOR THE FOLLOWING:

Erectile dysfunction (ED)

“I can’t keep it up”

 

One-third of men with have ED at some point in their life… and that number goes up to three-quarters of men after the age of 75. Sometimes, ED can be the result of medical issues (cardiovascular health, diabetes, prostate cancer treatments). More frequently, though, ED is caused by a mix of physical, mental, and relationship factors. So for many men, ED doesn’t go away with medication (like Viagra, Cialis, or Levitra). This is because “the little blue pill” doesn’t fix the underlying problems that lead to ED. Treating ED is my specialty.

Premature ejaculation

“I want to last longer”

 

Premature ejaculation is one of the most common sexual complaints for men. Climaxing too soon can be really frustrating. Many people may not realize that the cut-off for a diagnosis of “premature ejaculation” is 60 seconds; anything longer than that is considered completely normal. However, being upset about reaching orgasm too soon can be a serious problem, regardless of how long you actually last. There are proven techniques to last longer for men with premature ejaculation, and there are techniques to enjoy sex more, regardless of how long you can last.

Problems reaching orgasm

“I just can’t orgasm! I feel like my body is broken!”

 

Sometimes it feels like the whole “goal” of sex is to reach orgasm, so if we don’t easily hit that target, we can feel like a failure. Having difficulty reaching orgasm does not mean that there is something wrong with you, your body, or your relationship. There are many factors that can get in the way of men and women reaching orgasm, and usually it is due to a combination of physical, mental, and relational factors. Becoming orgasmic is possible, and sex therapy can help.

Kink

“I’m embarrassed to tell my partner that I like…”

 

Sexual interests can vary widely! We don’t know the exact percentage of people with kinks, fetishes, or “atypical sexual interests” out there, but if the Fifty Shades of Gray phenomenon taught us anything, it’s that kinks are extremely common!

However, some people can experience feelings of shame, embarrassment, or confusion when they find themselves turned on by things that seem out of the ordinary. Some people may want to find ways to incorporate their kinks into the bedroom. Alternatively, it’s very common to have kinks that are exciting to think about, but we’d never want to actually do in real life. Kinks exist on a continuum. At the Tri Health Clinic, we can work in a safe, non-judgemental space to prevent atypical sexual interests from getting in the way of an enjoyable, fulfilling sex life.

Sex and Illness

“My body just isn’t working the way it did before I got sick…”

 

One of the biggest unspoken challenges of illness is the impact it has on a person’s sexuality, or a coupe’s intimacy. Illness brings many barriers to a fulfilling sex life, including changes to the body, fatigue, pain, medical or surgical side effects, or even changes to a couple’s dynamics. I spent years working with prostate cancer survivors and their partners, developing treatments to help improve their intimate lives after the devastating effects of cancer treatments. Working with individuals and couples trying to maintain intimacy in the face of illness is one of my passions.

Low sex drive

“I want to want it, but I just don’t”

 

Up to 40% of women experience low sex drive, lack of sexual desire, or reduced sexual arousal. This is–by far–one of the biggest barriers to women having a fulfilling sex life. Men can experience low libido, too. Low sex drive can lead to problems in the relationship. For single folks, a low sex drive may be a barrier to dating.

Having a low sex drive may not be a problem for some people, but there is help available when it is a problem. In my experience, many people who have a low sex drive often wish their sex drive was a bit higher; they tell me “I want to want sex with my partner, I just don’t”. Not craving sex does not mean that you are “sexually broken” or “just not a sexual person”, and it doesn’t mean that “there is something wrong with my relationship”. It is a common – albeit sometimes unpleasant – human experience. There are very effective treatments to increase sexual desire and enjoyment that don’t involve medication at all.

Sex hurts

“It’s not supposed to hurt this much, is it?”

 

Burning. Cutting. Ripping. Stinging. These are not typically words that bring to mind “good sex”. But, unfortunately, for 8-14% of women, this is a reality (yes, that many women experience chronic genital pain). Genital pain, also known as provoked vestibulodynia (PVD), vulvodynia, or dyspareunia can leave women feeling alone and broken. And no, it’s not all in your head. The leading research on genital pain shows that vulvodynia is best treated using a multidisciplinary approach, which involves pelvic floor physiotherapy, gynaecology, and psychology. As a psychologist at the BC Centre for Vulvar Health, I gained expertise in the leading treatments for women with genital pain, and have had the pleasure to see countless women improve. There is hope for you, too.

Sexless relationship

“It feels like we’re just roommates at this point”

 

Frequently couples will come see me at a point in their relationships where sex and intimacy have stopped altogether. Although a couple may love each other very much, they may experience a time where “the spark is just gone”. It is important to know that there are proven ways to improve intimacy, even when it has been long absent. It’s never too late. For many couples, seeking professional help for a sexless relationship can open the doors to a whole new world of intimacy that they didn’t even think possible. This works best when both members of the relationship come to session. It can be possible to bring intimacy back into a sexless relationship if only one member comes to treatment, but it will likely be more challenging and it may take longer.

Gender identity or transitioning

“I want my outside to match what I feel inside”

 

Thanks to people like Caitlyn Jenner, the level of understanding and acceptance around trans issues has increased greatly in the past few years… but we certainly have a ways to go. I work with people on the transitioning journey, whether you have questions about your gender identity, are in the process of transitioning, or have already transitioned (whatever that may look like for you). I am sensitive to the needs of the trans community. Whether you are looking for support on the transitioning journey, or simply looking for a therapist who is informed about the trans community, I am happy to work with you.

Other issues...

“My issue isn’t listed here”

 

Sexuality and sexual health are complicated! If the issue that you are dealing with isn’t listed here, not to worry. Contact me today to give me a picture of what you want help with. If I can’t help, I will try to help connect you to someone who will.

Erectile dysfunction (ED)

“I can’t keep it up”

 

One-third of men with experience ED at some point in their life, and that number goes up to three-quarters of men after the age of 75. Sometimes, ED can be the result of medical issues (cardiovascular health, diabetes, prostate cancer treatments). More frequently, though, ED is caused by a mix of physical, mental, and relationship factors. So for many men, ED persists even with medication (like Viagra, Cialis, or Levitra). This is because “the little blue pill” doesn’t address the underlying problems that lead to ED. Treating ED is my specialty.

Premature ejaculation (orgasms happening too soon)

“I want to last longer”

 

Premature ejaculation is one of the most common sexual complaints for men. Climaxing too soon can be really frustrating. Many people may not realize that the cut-off for a diagnosis of “premature ejaculation” is 60 seconds; anything longer than that is considered completely normal. However, feeling distressed about reaching orgasm too soon it can be a serious problem, regardless of how long you actually last. There are proven techniques to last longer for men with premature ejaculation, and there are techniques to enjoy sex more, regardless of how long you can last.

Delayed orgasm (orgasms not happening soon enough)

“I just can’t orgasm! I feel like my body is broken!”

 

Sometimes it feels like the whole goal of sex is to reach orgasm, so if we don’t easily meet that “goal” it can feel like a failure. Having difficulty reaching orgasm does not mean that there is something wrong with you, your body, or your relationship. There are many factors that can get in the way of men and women reaching orgasm, and usually it is due to a combination of physical, mental, and relational factors. Becoming orgasmic is possible, and sex therapy can help.

Gender identity/transitioning

“I want my outside to match what I feel inside”

 

Thanks to people like Caitlyn Jenner, the level of understanding and acceptance around trans issues has increased greatly in the past few years, but we certainly have a ways to go. I work with people on the transitioning journey, whether you have questions about your gender identity, are in the process of transitioning, or have already transitioned (whatever that may look like for you). I am sensitive to the needs of the trans community. Whether you are looking for support on the transitioning journey, or simply looking for a therapist who is informed about the trans community, I am happy to work with you.

Low sex drive

“I want to want it, but I just don’t”

 

One of the biggest complaints experienced by women is a low sex drive, lack of sexual desire, or reduced sexual arousal. Men can experience low libido, too. Low sex drive can lead to problems in the relationship. For single folks, a low sex drive may be a barrier to dating. Having a low sex drive may not be a problem for some, but there is help available when it does become a problem. In my experience, many people who have a low sex drive often wish their sex drive was a bit higher; they tell me “I want to want sex with my partner, I just don’t”. Sexual intimacy is an important part of connectedness and overall health. Not craving sex does not mean that you are “sexually broken” or “just not a sexual person”, and it doesn’t mean that “there is something wrong with my relationship”. It is a typical – albeit sometimes unpleasant – human experience. There are very effective treatments to increase sexual desire and enjoyment that don’t involve medication at all.

Sex hurts

“It’s not supposed to hurt this much, is it?”

 

Burning. Cutting. Ripping. Stinging. These are not typically words that bring to mind a pleasurable sexual experience. But, unfortunately, for 8-14% of women, this is a reality (yes, that many women experience chronic genital pain). Genital pain, also known as provoked vestibulodynia (PVD), vulvodynia, or dyspareunia can leave women feeling alone and broken. And no, it’s not all in your head. The leading research on genital pain shows us that vulvodynia is best treated using a multidisciplinary approach, which involves pelvic floor physiotherapy, gynaecologists, and psychologists. As a psychologist at the BC Centre for Vulvar Health <http://bcvulvarhealth.ca/>, I gained expertise in the leading treatments for women with genital pain, and have had the pleasure to see countless women improve.

Are you ready to have a more fulfilling sex life? Contact me today to find out whether sex therapy is right for you, or to book your first appointment.